The "Family Talk"

[usdbigrl]

Hi people!

This forum is such a g8 idea. I'm so glad I stumbled upon it. So I'm bi.. which I've finally come to terms with in the last few years after a long time of being in denial. its actually pretty liberating and i ve come out to friends and stuff. i feel like it can be hard and isolating some times being bi since a lot of people don't get it. I legit like both guys and girls! and sometimes i feel like my str8 friends either think "its a stage" and ill get over it, or I'm really a lesbian but just don't want to admit it yet. anyone else have that experience? its nice to have a space here to talk with other people who are in the same boat.

i also feel like i want to have "the talk" soon with my parents. I've been dreading it for so many years - i seriously think it might be the hardest thing ever. but i know i need to do it. i think my parents will still love me but i know they are going to be shocked and stuff and i don't kno if I'm ready for that. is anyone else in the same place and trying to come out to family?? or does anyone have any tips for me? other than that, life is pretty gr8. rock on usd.

Hugs to everyone!  

[heretohelp]

I'm glad that you have been coming to terms with your identity! I can completely understand where you are coming from, a lot of people say things that can be so hurtful when they don't really understand our sexualities. I've been called all sorts of names because I'm bi, it really sucks.

I still go back and forth when I think about coming out to my family. It seems like such a difficult conversation, I wonder it is truly worth it. At the same time, I agree that it is an important conversation to have. My only suggestion is to be authentic with yourself. You can't control how other people react, but you can control you own choices. Do what you feel is right.

Rock on!

[alwaysconfused]

Hi!

Being bisexual is very misunderstood in both the straight and LGBTQ community and can be super frustrating. You get both sides telling you to pick a team, but the reality is sexuality is a spectrum, it is fluid, it changes over time, and is not definitely not just "black and white."

As far as coming out to family, I personally got out easy. With my mom coming to me about it and me (eventually) admitting it. Overall, my tips would be make sure you are prepared. Be prepared to answer a ton of questions, or possibly none at all. Be prepared for them to maybe be a little awkward, or really awkward, or for nothing to change. I say go in with realistic expectations of whatever could happen, but at the same time don't obsess or stress. I like to look at coming out to parents, as you being the "adult" in the situation. Mostly it is your job to do the best you can to explain to them what you are going through, how you identify, etc... and try to keep anything from escalating or causing arguments. As well as make sure you are coming out in a safe situation, from what you said it sounds like it. Going in being patient and prepared will pay off in the long run. Also try not to take any questions they ask personally, especially questions that can come off as not so nice, ie "Why did you choose this" or etc. Parents that do react negatively do it out of concern or lack of education. Being understanding and aware of that is always good.

I wish you luck! *hugs* Keep us posted!!!!

[usdbigrl]

thanks you both for your responses! I can relate to that feeling of not knowing if coming out will be worth it or not. it might makes things worse - maybe better, who knows? But I do think that it would help me to at least not have to hide anymore, which might be worth it regardless of how people react. and I definitely relate to the "black and white" dischotomoy - why do people have to be so rigid? I guess it makes it easier to "figure people out" and if you don't fit into one category then I think it makes people feel weird because they don't have you figured out. im sure we are probably all a little bi deep down and range along the spectrum, so I wish more people were just open minded about that instead of getting so caught up into labels!