any tips..?

[iloveilove]

Okay. So. I want to date a woman, but the have never done so. I know that I am sexually attracted to women and that I like being around women more than I do men, but I just have no idea how tell a woman I'm interested in her! I have only dated men in the past and it makes me so nervous to ask a girl out fearing that they are a) heterosexual b) going to stop talking to me or c) not say yes if they are interested because I've never dated a girl before and I know there's a stigma for women who have never tried it out before I'm stuck and I really wish I could let my feelings out. Its just so intimidating.

[betweenclosets]

I understand how you feel. I've been in a situation where I was interested in a friend of mine but I wasn't sure if they were also interested in dating girls. I was really scared and frustrated. It came to a point where I felt I couldn't hide my feelings towards her or even ignore that I had feelings for her. I was unsure of my sexual orientation at the time and have never dated a girl. I was definitely going through a lot. In time, I managed to find the courage to finally tell her. I was very lucky to have a very understanding friend who did not feel awkward or bad about the situation. I felt so relieved finally sharing how I felt to her! We didn't start to date but we maintained a really great friendship. After a while, it felt like we organically got more involved romantically. To be honest, it wasn't so much about us being two girls who were together, but two people who really enjoyed each other and supported growth in one another. If someone stops talking to you after all that honesty and courage, then it is their loss. I don't have any concrete tips but maybe to just express how you feel and/or let these relationships happen on their own.

The relationship had to end, however, but we are still good friends. We valued our friendship more than our romantic relationship. Since finally coming to terms with my attraction towards women, I did feel a bit (with a lack for better words) awkward or intimidated on campus. But I feel that some of these feelings or thoughts of "would they like me back?" "what if they get freaked out that I like them" are shared by anyone of any sexual orientation. These things definitely take a lot of confidence and patience. These are all from my own personal experience, so every person/relationship is different. Hope this gave some help and insight?

[alwaysconfused]

Sept 24, 2014 22:07:17 GMT -8 iloveilove said:

Okay. So. I want to date a woman, but the have never done so. I know that I am sexually attracted to women and that I like being around women more than I do men, but I just have no idea how tell a woman I'm interested in her! I have only dated men in the past and it makes me so nervous to ask a girl out fearing that they are a) heterosexual b) going to stop talking to me or c) not say yes if they are interested because I've never dated a girl before and I know there's a stigma for women who have never tried it out before I'm stuck and I really wish I could let my feelings out. Its just so intimidating.

There is a big stigma, but if you do care for a woman who also cares for you- it shouldn't matter how many people you have (or haven't) been with. With dating woman, it's the same as dating men except for the fact that when you are looking for a guy 99% of them are interested in woman, while not nearly as many woman are interested in dating other women. As far as finding that at USD, it is MUCH more difficult. We have a very small LGBTQ community. So as far as actually dating one of the few and rare queer (it makes us sound so exotic!) woman at USD it isn't always feasible. I recommend reaching out to other LGTBQ students at USD in other ways (if you feel comfortable of course) such as PRIDE meetings or Discussion Group or the LGBTQ Faith Sharing Group(that should be starting up again soon.) It allows you to connect with other students who feel the same way, and let certain emotions and feelings out, but maybe not in a romantic setting? Or you just might meet the love of your life, become friends there, and ride off happily ever after into the sunset!

You could always give the online dating world a shot. Apps like Tinder, tumblr(although not a dating app), and whatnot. As long as you are SUPER careful and remember to ALWAYS see "this person" before it goes too far. (ie Facetime or Skype not just pictures.) I have known three couples who met on Tinder and it worked for them so who knows? But from my experience there are many on there looking to hookup, which you can always block if it makes you uncomfortable.

*hugs* and good luck