The T in LGBT???? And other questions...

[alwaysconfused]

Hi guys.

So I'll make two versions... One long one explaining why I am asking, and the other one just being the question. Feel free to only read the short version.

SHORT STORY: Have any of you ever questioned your gender identity and/or expression??? Stories? Comments? Difficulties? Any tips on how to shop for clothes that might not fit gender assigned at birth? Why is their a lack of genderqueer students at USD?

LONG STORY: Okay so lately I have been questioning my gender identity/gender expression, so I figured I’d go around to JCPenny’s today and look at some different clothes that I have always wanted to try on but never had the guts to pick them up and actually check them out. (these clothes being “mens” clothes).

I wasn’t planning on trying anything on. Even simply shopping around in the mens department was terrifying. One guys thought that I worked there…Which I politely corrected him. Anyways, I had found a pair of shorts that I liked, and I figured what the heck? I could try them on right? I circled around the single dressing room in the mens department for a bit until some guy walked out. I had the shorts in my hand and turned to go in, when the guy looked at me like I had just slapped him in the face.

I look to him, and ask him if he is still using the dressing room. He looks at me, stares blankly at the mens shorts I am holding, and says yes. I nod, smile, and walk the other direction. That doesn’t stop him from staring at me.

I circled around a bit more before my anxiety felt like it was screaming at me to run for it(I have social anxiety disorder, so pretty much this whole event caused it to skyrocket through the roof). I placed the shorts down in a different spot, too afraid to return anywhere near the dress room, and made a break for it.

I can’t decide if today was a win day or a failure day. Feels like a failure because I didn’t even get to try the clothes on. But I did make a step with actually being able to go into the mens department despite the looks. I think maybe doing online shopping would be a lot safer and less terrifying. Has anyone ever experienced something similar? How did you deal? (Or if you haven't how would you deal?)

I am also VERY aware of the lack of genderqueer/gender fluid students at USD. Why is that? I mean, I know there aren't a lot of LGBQ students are here, but there are some. Yet how is it we have NO genderqueer students??? Or are they just too hidden??? Does being a Catholic university scare away the "T" students that much??? It definitely makes me feel more isolated here. I can still connect with the community being queer, but it would be nice to connect with other genderqueer students.

If you took the time to read the long story of what I went through, thank you (you have to be super patient and AMAZING)! Also thank you to anyone who responds  

*HUGS*

 

[alwaysconfused]

Can I also add on this website there is ONLY male and female options for gender???.... That really should be changed considering this is supposed to be inclusive..... Moderators? Any comments?

[Anonymous USD Student]

Hello!

Moderator here, and yes we do recognize that the "gender" section only lists "male" and "female". Which is problematic on so many different levels (I'm not even going to get into it here). This is one of the qualities of hosting a forum on ProBoards, which is a good free platform. We are working on see if we can create some change in regards to this issue, and will post if any awesome advances happen. For now, you can participate in the forum with just a guest name. This bypasses the need to sign up and register with a "gender".

Responding to your first post. I'm sorry that people suck. But I am glad that you are taking steps towards your goal. Online shopping can be a lot safer, so is going to the store with a group of friends to support you. Also you may want to look into different stores. Target employees go through specific training to be inclusive to trans and genderqueer/fluid peoples.

Yes, the community is very small here at USD. I do recall that someone came out as not cisgendered at Pride a couple meetings ago. So it is not entirely non-existent. Also, the San Diego community has a couple groups that you can reach out to. I'm not familiar with specifics, but I know there are support groups, and meetings that happen in the trans and genderqueer communities.

Hope this helps

[usdbigrl]

I never hear about any transgender people on campus which issad. I'm sure there must be people. im sory that you had that experience at the mall. sometimes people fear what they don't understand. I too have wondered if it might be harder for trans people to be out on a catholic school but also san diego in general. being form the east coast, people were more accepting - its not horrible in san diego but also not great at the same time